1. Bibliographic Information

1.1. Title

The title of the paper is “Stroppy Bitches Who Just Need to Learn How to Settle”? Young Single Women and Norms of Femininity and Heterosexuality. The title immediately signals a focus on the experiences of young single women and the societal expectations placed upon them regarding femininity and heterosexuality, often in a negative or judgmental light.

1.2. Authors

The authors are Chelsea Pickens and Virginia Braun. Their research affiliation is not explicitly stated in the provided text snippet, but the paper was published online by Springer Science+Business Media, LLC, part of Springer Nature, suggesting an academic background. Virginia Braun is a well-known researcher in qualitative methods, particularly thematic analysis, and gender studies.

1.3. Journal/Conference

The paper was published in a journal format, indicated by "Published online: 6 January 2018 © Springer Science+Business Media, LLC, part of Springer Nature 2017". The specific journal name is not provided in the snippet, but given Springer's publishing profile, it is likely a peer-reviewed academic journal in the social sciences, psychology, or gender studies. Such journals are typically reputable and influential in their respective fields.

1.4. Publication Year

The paper was published online on January 6, 2018.

1.5. Abstract

This paper investigates the experiences of young heterosexual single women (ages 25–35) in Aotearoa (New Zealand) regarding prevailing norms of femininity and heterosexuality. Historically, single women have faced negative stereotypes, and the study examines if contemporary shifts toward gender equality have altered this. Through interviews with 21 women, the researchers found that their single experiences were deeply intertwined with broader heterosexual expectations and pressures to conform to a "desirable" femininity. A thematic analysis revealed four "rules" governing hetero-relating: (a) adherence to beauty standards, (b) acceptance of male control and superiority, (c) navigation of acceptable/unacceptable sexual standards, and (d) the imperative for eventual heterosexual coupling by a "certain" age. The women largely conformed to traditional heterosexual gender roles, facing "punishments" for "unfeminine" behavior, yet many also articulated resistance and critique. The study concludes that singledom is often constructed as a "defective" state, remaining a complex and precarious position for women.

1.6. Original Source Link

The original source link is /files/papers/69380ecdfc94e99a6a908572/paper.pdf. This indicates that the paper is available as a PDF document, likely an officially published version given the copyright and publisher information.

2. Executive Summary

2.1. Background & Motivation

The paper addresses the persistent negative sociocultural stereotypes surrounding single women, particularly older single women, in Western societies. Despite societal shifts towards gendered equality, being single often remains a fraught position for heterosexual women. The core problem the paper aims to solve is understanding how these stereotypes and pressures manifest in the lives of young heterosexual women in a contemporary Western context (specifically, Aotearoa/New Zealand).

This problem is important because, despite changing demographics showing lower birth rates, higher average ages for marriage, and increasing numbers of single-person households, heteronormative ideals of coupling and childbearing continue to be a dominant organizing feature of gender relations. There is a cultural lag between what society expects of women (to couple) and what women are actually doing (remaining single longer or not coupling). This cultural lag creates a unique opportunity for analytic insight into how women navigate these conflicting expectations. The paper's entry point is to explore the lived experiences of young single women (ages 25-35), a critical period often associated with childbearing concerns, to illuminate the rules and pressures they encounter.

2.2. Main Contributions / Findings

The paper's primary contributions are:

• Identification of Four "Rules": The study systematically identifies and conceptualizes four patterned sets of pressures as rules that govern hetero-relating for young single women:

  1. Rule 1: Women must be Beautiful but Not "Girly" (beauty standards and devaluing of hyper-femininity).
  2. Rule 2: Men must be in Control and Superior (male dominance in dating and workplace).
  3. Rule 3: Women must be Sexy but Not Sexual (balancing sexuality to avoid being a "slut" or "prude").
  4. Rule 4: Women must be Happy with Singleness but Not be Single (pressure to couple by a "certain age" while appearing content when single).

• Demonstration of Persistent Traditional Gender Roles: The findings highlight that, despite perceived advancements in gender equality, participants remained largely subject to traditional ideas around heterosexual gender roles, with identifiable punishments for "unfeminine" behaviour.

• Articulation of Resistance and Complicity: The paper notes that while many women articulated resistance and critique against these norms, most also expressed complicity, indicating the complex and often inescapable nature of these pressures.

• Construction of Singledom as "Defective": The study concludes that singledom was constructed as a "defective" state, even if sometimes desired, reinforcing its complex and precarious position for women.

  These findings solve the problem of understanding the contemporary landscape of singledom for young heterosexual women by providing a detailed thematic analysis of the specific rules and tensions that shape their experiences, thereby illuminating the gap between societal expectations and women's realities.

3. Prerequisite Knowledge & Related Work

3.1. Foundational Concepts

To fully understand this paper, a novice reader should be familiar with several core concepts from sociology, gender studies, and psychology.

• Heteronormativity: This is the belief that heterosexuality (sexual attraction to the opposite sex) is the only normal or natural sexual orientation. It assumes that sex and gender are binary (male/female, man/woman) and that sexual and marital relations are only appropriate between people of opposite sexes. Heteronormativity often underpins societal structures, policies, and cultural norms, making heterosexual coupling and childbearing appear as the default and most desirable life path. In this paper, it's central to understanding the pressures women face to find a male partner and have children.
• Femininity: This refers to the qualities, behaviors, and roles generally associated with women and girls. Traditional Western femininity has historically been linked to domesticity, motherhood, and traits like agreeableness, passivity, and selflessness. The paper discusses new femininity, which integrates traditionally masculine traits like independence and autonomy, but still notes that heteronormative gender norms remain an organizing feature.
• Gender Roles: These are societal expectations about how individuals should behave, think, and feel based on their assigned gender. Traditional gender roles often dictate that men are breadwinners and decision-makers, while women are caregivers and homemakers. The paper explores how these gender roles persist, especially in hetero-relating (heterosexual relationships).
• Sexual Double Standards: This refers to the application of different sets of moral principles to men and women concerning sexual behavior. Typically, it allows men greater sexual freedom and social acceptance for multiple partners or casual sex, while women who engage in similar behaviors are stigmatized or judged negatively (e.g., labeled as "promiscuous" or "slutty"). The paper highlights how these double standards complicate women's sexuality.
• Post-structuralism/Queer Theory: These theoretical frameworks challenge the idea of fixed or natural categories like gender and sexuality. Instead, they argue that gender and sexuality are socially constructed and performed, rather than inherent biological traits. Foucault's theory of discourse (mentioned in the paper) is a key post-structuralist idea, suggesting that norms are produced through dominant societal conversations (discourse) that reflect and reproduce power relations. This helps explain how hetero-gendered relationships become normative and how individuals self-govern to avoid social consequences.
• Neoliberalism: An economic and political ideology that emphasizes free markets, deregulation, and individual responsibility. In the context of femininity, neoliberalism can promote an ideal of the self-improving, autonomous individual, but it also places the burden of success and self-management (including managing one's appearance and relationships) squarely on the individual. The paper suggests that mandatory aesthetic labour (the effort women put into beauty) and the expectation to appear happy on their own as a single woman can be linked to neoliberal ideology.
• Thematic Analysis: A qualitative research method for identifying, analyzing, and reporting patterns (themes) within data. It's a widely used approach in psychology and social sciences to make sense of rich qualitative data, such as interview transcripts. The paper explicitly states using thematic analysis developed by Braun and Clarke (2006).
• Critical Realism: A philosophical approach that combines elements of realism (the belief that an independent reality exists) and constructionism (the belief that our knowledge of reality is socially constructed and mediated). It acknowledges that while there might be an underlying truth, our understanding of it is always shaped by our individual perspectives and social contexts. This framework allows researchers to treat participants' experiences as real and true to them, while also recognizing these experiences are socially shaped by wider cultural contexts and intersecting identities (age, ethnicity, gender, etc.).

3.2. Previous Works

The paper extensively references prior research to establish its theoretical context and justify its focus. Key prior studies and their contributions mentioned include:

• Reynolds and Wetherell (2003): This work is cited for highlighting that remaining single (especially past a "certain age") can be met with societal questioning and disapproval and is seen as going against the norm. It underscores the negative sociocultural stereotypes that single women face, which the current paper aims to explore in a contemporary context.
• DePaulo and Morris (2006): They coined the term cultural lag to describe the discrepancy between what is expected of women (to couple) and what they are actually doing (large numbers remaining single). This concept is crucial for the paper's motivation, framing the tension between traditional expectations and modern realities.
• Budgeon (2015, 2008): This researcher's work is frequently cited for discussing heteronormativity as the organizing feature of gender roles, the emergence of new femininity (incorporating masculine traits like independence), and the persistence of traditional ideas where a woman's value is based on her ability to please a male partner and provide children. Budgeon also discusses the naturalized life course involving coupledom and childrearing.
• Foucault (1976/2008): Foucault's theory is used to explain how norms around relationships and sexuality are produced through dominant discourse within society. This discourse reflects and reproduces wider power relations, making hetero-gendered relationships normative and imposing consequences on those who deviate from norms. This framework helps the paper understand the entrenchment and naturalization of traditional gendered roles.
• Gavey (2005): Cited for work on the cultural scaffolding of rape and how permissive discourse emerged after the sexual revolution, allowing women sex outside of marriage. However, Gavey also highlights the persistence of sexual double standards where women's sexuality is controlled and judged much harsher than men's. This work informs the paper's discussion on Rule 3: Women must be Sexy but Not Sexual.
• Farvid and Braun (2014, 2006, 2016): These authors (including one of the current paper's authors) are referenced for describing the modern "sassy" (heterosexual) woman as assertive, independent and sexually liberated, but also for documenting the inescapable sexual double standard that seeps into women's accounts, even when they are critical of it. This directly supports the analysis of Rule 3.
• Gill (2007, 2009): Gill's work on gender and the media and post-feminism is used to illustrate how post-feminist atmospheres can present women as autonomous agents while simultaneously heightening sexism in less formalised areas like beauty standards. Gill also identified the confident, sexually assertive women in popular media and the bind of the desperate single woman. These references are key to Rule 1 and Rule 4.
• Wolf (1991): Author of The Beauty Myth, Wolf's quote ("the more legal and material hindrances women have broken through, the more strictly and heavily and cruelly images of female beauty have come to weigh upon us") is used to argue that beauty standards serve to put women back in their place as traditional femininity is still expected. This directly supports the analysis of Rule 1.
• Lahad and Hazan (2014): Their research on limited identity positions available for single women during and after common childbearing ages, and the terror of the single old maid (related to the cat lady trope), informs the discussion on Rule 4 about the negative perceptions of older single women.

3.3. Technological Evolution

The field of understanding gender roles, sexuality, and hetero-relating is not about "technology" in the conventional sense but rather the evolution of sociocultural norms and theoretical frameworks used to analyze them.

• Pre-20th Century: Traditional gender roles were deeply entrenched, often legally and socially enforcing women's primary roles as wives and mothers within the domestic sphere. Singleness for women, particularly beyond youth, was highly stigmatized (e.g., "spinster," "old maid").
• Early-to-Mid 20th Century (First and Second Wave Feminism): First-wave feminism (late 19th/early 20th century) focused on legal rights (e.g., suffrage). Second-wave feminism (1960s-1980s) challenged patriarchal structures, advocated for reproductive rights, and pushed for women's entry into the public workforce. The sexual revolution began to decouple sex from marriage, offering women more sexual agency, though sexual double standards persisted.
• **Late 20th/Early 21st Century (Third Wave/Post-feminism):Third-wave feminism (1990s-early 2000s) expanded on second-wave feminism, often incorporating intersectionality (understanding how race, class, gender, and sexuality intersect). Post-feminism emerged, often characterized by the belief that gender equality has largely been achieved, leading to a focus on individual choice and empowerment, sometimes co-opted by market forces (e.g., emphasis on beauty and consumption). This era saw an increase in women's educational and career opportunities, leading to later marriage and childbearing, and an increase in single-person households.
• Contemporary Context (Paper's timeframe): The paper situates its research in this contemporary Western context. It acknowledges the liberated ideals of "new" femininity (independence, career focus) but argues that lived femininity still retains strong notions of traditional femininity centered around sexual "purity," beauty standards, coupling, and childbearing. The paper identifies a tension and contradiction between these modern ideals and actual expectations, particularly amplified for single women navigating the heterosexual marketplace.

3.4. Differentiation Analysis

Compared to the main methods in related work, this paper's approach offers several innovations and differentiations:

• Focus on Young Adult Single Women (25-35): While prior work has addressed single women generally or older single women (e.g., Lahad and Hazan, 2014), this study specifically targets young adulthood (ages 25-35). This age group is crucial because it often marks the onset of intensified societal pressures around childbearing and settling down, making singleness a particularly salient concern.

• Conceptualization of "Rules": The paper innovatively conceptualizes the patterned sets of pressures identified through thematic analysis as explicit rules that govern hetero-relating and hetero-femininity. This framing highlights the quasi-mandatory nature of these expectations and the negative social consequences for breaches or resistance. This moves beyond simply describing pressures to outlining a structured system of social control.

• Inclusion of Media Stimulus (The Bachelor): The methodology incorporates The Bachelor NZ as a stimulus during interviews. While not a novel concept in focus groups, its use in individual interviews to prompt different discussion around salient cultural narratives (coupling, singleness as a "problem", desirable femininity) is a specific and effective way to ground abstract discussions in concrete, culturally relevant examples.

• Explicit Engagement with "Tension and Contradiction": The paper explicitly highlights the tension and contradiction between modern "liberated" ideals and traditional expectations in lived femininity. Its analysis systematically unpacks how women must navigate this precarious "tightrope of femininity", often leading to impossible balances (e.g., beautiful but not "girly", sexy but not sexual).

• Critical Realist Framework: Utilizing a critical realist framework allows the researchers to validate the real experiences of participants while simultaneously analyzing how these experiences are socially constructed and shaped by wider power relations. This provides a robust interpretative lens that avoids purely subjective accounts or purely structural determinism.

  In essence, while prior work established the context of heteronormativity and gendered expectations, this paper provides a detailed, contemporary, and rule-based analysis of how young single women specifically navigate these complex and often contradictory demands in their daily lives.

4. Methodology

4.1. Principles

The core idea behind the methodology is to understand the lived experiences of young heterosexual single women by allowing them to articulate their perspectives on singleness within the prevailing heteronormative and feminine expectations of society. The theoretical basis or intuition is rooted in critical realism, which acknowledges that while individuals have real experiences, these experiences are also shaped by social contexts and power structures. This allows the researchers to treat the women's accounts as genuine reflections of their reality while also analyzing the broader sociocultural rules that influence these realities. The aim is to uncover the implicit and explicit rules that govern hetero-femininity and hetero-singledom, and how women negotiate, comply with, or resist these rules.

4.2. Core Methodology In-depth (Layer by Layer)

The research employed a semi-structured individual-interview design combined with thematic analysis.

4.2.1. Design and Participants

• Interview Design: A semi-structured individual-interview design was chosen. This design is flexible, allowing for in-depth exploration of personal accounts while ensuring key topics are covered. This approach is well-suited for qualitative data collection, aiming to generate detailed and potentially rich qualitative data.

• Ethical Approval: The study received Ethical approval from the University of Auckland Human Participants Ethics Committee, ensuring the research was conducted responsibly and protected participants' rights.

• Target Population Parameters:

  • Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual. This was a deliberate choice to focus on women navigating norms specifically within heteronormative contexts.
  • Marital Status: Currently single women. This directly addresses the research question about experiences of singleness.
  • Age: 25-35 years old. This age range was selected because it captures typical and common childbearing years, a time when heightened scrutiny or pressure surrounding single status often begins, partly due to medical narratives about declining fertility after the mid-30s.
  • Location: Living in Auckland, Aotearoa (New Zealand). This localizes the study within a specific sociocultural context.
  • Residency: Resided in New Zealand for more than 2 years, further ensuring integration into the local context.
  • Language: Spoke fluent English, necessary for effective interviewing and data collection.

• Recruitment Strategy:

  • Initial Recruitment: Convenience sampling along with snowballing was used. The project was advertised on the University website and shared via social media (e.g., Facebook).
  • Primary Recruitment: Most participants were recruited following a media release which was widely disseminated on popular online news sites. This public outreach generated approximately 130 expressions of interest.
  • Diversity Sampling: From the expressions of interest, diversity-sampling principle (Patton 1990) was applied. This means participants were selected to ensure a range of relational, life, and identity positions rather than purely random selection. Factors considered for selection included availability, location (to ensure they were in the wider Auckland area), and diversity in demographics (age, ethnicity, occupation).
  • Final Sample Size: 21 women were invited to participate, and all agreed.

• Participant Demographics (Table 1): The table below provides the demographic information of the 21 participants, including pseudonym, age, sexual identity (as self-identified, though the study focused on heterosexual experiences), ethnicity, disability status, history of relationships, current children, and desire for children.

  The following are the results from Table 1 of the original paper:

  Pseudonym	Age	Sexual Identitya	Ethnicitya	Disability	Been in a relationship	Current children	Wants childrena
  Amanda	31	Heterosexual	European (NZ)	n	y	y	N/A
  Amy	28	Female	European	n	n	n	y
  Brittany	29	Straight	European (NZ)	n	y	n	y
  Brooke	33	Bisexual	European	n	y	n	y
  Camille	27	Straight	European (NZ)	n	y	n	y
  Cassie	27	Straight	American		y	n	y
  Deshika	27	Straight	Sinhalese	n	y	n	not sure
  Emma	35	Straight	New Zealander	n	y	n	y
  Grace	32	Bisexual	Māori/Pākehāb	n	y	y	N/A
  Hannah	28	Straight	European	n	y	n	y
  Hayley	27	Straight	White	n	y	n	y
  Jess		Heterosexual	European (NZ)	n	y	n	maybe
  Michelle	26	Heterosexual	European (NZ)	n	y	n	y
  Moana	34	Straight	Cook Island Māori	n	y	y	N/A
  Nancy	31	Heterosexual	European (NZ)	n	n	n	y
  Nicole	29	Straight	European	n	y	n	unsure
  Rachel	32	Heterosexual	Pākehāb	n	y	n	possibly
  Sanda	25	Heterosexual	Burmese/Indian/Kiwi	n	y	n	y
  Sharna	33	Heterosexual	Samoan	y	n	n	y
  Sonia	28	Straight	Asian	n	y	n
  Stacey	26	Heterosexual	European (NZ)	n	y	n	y

^aResponse to an open-ended question ^b Māori and Pākehā are terms used in New Zealand, referring to Indigenous New Zealanders and New Zealanders of European descent, respectively.

• Remuneration: No remuneration was advertised or offered, meaning participants volunteered without financial incentive, which can sometimes indicate a genuine interest in the topic.

4.2.2. Procedure

• Interviewer: The first author conducted all interviews. She introduced herself as a heterosexual (cis) woman, in her late 20s, without children and single for an extended period until recently. This transparency established rapport and positioned her as an insider with relevant lived experience, potentially encouraging more open responses from participants.
• Interview Structure: A semi-structured design was used, allowing for flexibility while covering key themes.
  • Opening Question: "Please tell me why you were interested in participating in this study." This open-ended start allowed participants to frame their motivation and initial thoughts.
  • Core Topics: Subsequent questions covered experiences of being single (e.g., "Tell me about what's good/difficult about being a single woman"; "How do you think others perceive you when they know you are single") and societal expectations of femininity (e.g., "How do you think single (straight) women are perceived in our society?"; "As a single woman, do you feel our current society gives you messages about right ways to behave?"). An interview guide with a full list of questions was provided as an online supplement (not included in the provided text).
• Media Stimulus (The Bachelor NZ):
  • Purpose: The finishing section of each interview focused on representations of single women in the media. This was designed to prompt different discussion and explore salient cultural narratives around coupling, how singleness is treated as "a problem", and how solving this problem is often linked to successful performances of desirable femininity.
  • Show Selection: The Bachelor NZ was chosen as a relevant contemporary example. This reality dating show, popular and long-running internationally, features one ideal and eligible bachelor and 25 female contestants competing for dates. The show's premise of finding love and the elimination of contestants based on desirable feminine attributes and behaviours made it a rich source for discussion.
  • Implementation: Participants were first asked about general media representations. Then, The Bachelor NZ was specifically discussed. If participants had not watched the show regularly, a brief clip (the opening scene of episode 13, which provided a synopsis and contestant profiles) was shown on an iPad.
• Interview Logistics:
  • Location: 16 interviews were held at the University, and 5 at a local public café chosen by the participant, prioritizing safety, comfort, and convenience.
  • Duration: Interviews lasted between 30 minutes and 2 hours, with an average length of 60 minutes.
  • Post-Interview: Participants had the opportunity to ask questions or provide additional information.
• Data Recording and Transcription:
  • Informed consent was obtained.
  • Interviews were audio recorded.
  • All interviews were transcribed verbatim in an orthographic manner, with minor speech hesitations omitted for readability.
  • Potentially identifying details were changed or omitted, and pseudonyms were assigned to ensure confidentiality and anonymity.

4.2.3. Analysis

• Approach: Thematic analysis was used, following the approach developed by Braun and Clarke (2006). This method offers flexibility and variability in theoretical and analytic scope.

• Theoretical Framework: A critical realist framework was utilized.

  • Definition: Critical realism acknowledges the perspectival and located nature of knowledge while theorizing an independent truth as possible but unreachable due to individual locatedness and perspectives.
  • Application: This meant treating participants' experiences as real and true to them, but also as mediated and (socially) shaped by the intersections of cultural context and factors like age, ethnicity, class, gender, sexuality, and other individual experiences.
  • Justification: This framework is widely used in social sciences because it allows researchers to acknowledge injustice as real, providing justification toward social change.

• Analytical Process:

  1. Data Familiarisation: Initial immersion in the data.
  2. Extensive Coding: The first author undertook coding, focusing on both semantic (explicit or surface meaning) and latent (underlying ideas, assumptions, or conceptualizations) meanings. This was reviewed with the second author.
     • Codes Included: positive and negative aspects of being single, various pressures and expectations to couple (from family, friends, media), stigma related to singleness, and perceived aspects of "attractiveness" or "desirability" for women.
  3. Theme Development and Review: This stage, led by the first author in consultation with the second author, involved grouping codes into broader themes.
     • Initial Scope: Singleness and femininity were initially scoped as potential themes.
     • Flexible and Open Coding System: This allowed open engagement with the data and literature, facilitating the analysis of surface semantic data content to produce latent patterns and themes.

• Resulting Structure: The analytic review process yielded a final analytic structure of four themes, each with two subthemes. These themes were conceptualized as rules to capture the mandatory nature of certain behaviors for acceptable/desirable (hetero) femininity and hetero-singledom, and the negative social consequences for breaches or resistance.

• Themes (Rules) and Subthemes (Table 2): The following table summarizes the four main themes (rules) and their corresponding subthemes, along with descriptions and example quotes. This table acts as the summary of the analytical output, conceptualizing the observed patterns.

  The following are the results from Table 2 of the original paper:

  Themes (Rules) Subthemes	Description	Example quotes
  Rule 1: Women must be beautiful but not "girly" Beauty standards as hyper-feminine	An "attractive" appearance is produced through self-disciplined beauty "work" and is essential for heterosexual desirability	You have to be skinnier you know um and and have to be quit attractive you know there's a whole lot of um things aimed towards that you know Jenny Craig and all the diets and um you know buy this makeup and do your hair this way and all that sort of stuff. (Hannah) You've got to look like something that's from a magazine (laughs) really uh to you know something like off the runwa to really even get a guy's attention. (Nicole)
  	Despite being required to look feminine for attractiveness, behaviours deemed feminine were largely devalued (e.g., fashion and beauty interests), resulting in beauty work often being "hidden" or capped at a certain "level"	I wouldn't describe myself as overly feminine in terms of like being a girly girl or something like that. (Rachel) I looked around at all these like young girls you know in their early 20s and there were the fake eyelashes you know the f hair the fake tans like the um uhh what looked like professi makeup jobs (...) Like it felt like this whole other standard c beauty and expectation wow it's just I've got to say there's something to be said for natural l I just natural beauty. (Grace)
  Rule 2: Men must be in control and superior Men to initiate/take control in relationships	Traditional ideas around male dominance/control in heterosexual relationships appeared an important pillar interactions	Like in bars you wait for guys to come up to you and that k ind of thing and I think that there are just social rules about and I think that's kind of reinforced in the media and that you don't own it you know what I mean you'r ownership or control of how things go. (Nancy) l htn said you know why you're single
  	were often (actually, or perceived to be) subject to social consequences, both in the workplace or heterosexual relating	she said you're too independent and self-sufficient what you need to do is trick them into thinking you need them. . .that wasn't the first time I'd heard somethi along those lines you know like if you're too self-sufficient then you're emasculating the gu (Rachel) I'm very strong minded um especially in the work environmen that has caused a few problems in the past (Brooke)
  Rule 3: Women must be sexy but not sexual Women need a perfect balance of sexuality in dating N0	It ho ly circumscribed/constrained and requires careful	want a guy to like you don't put
  Women can't appear to be either frigid or a slut	Women, in general society, felt pressure to enact a sexuality of a certain a middle ground, escaping perceptions of being "too" sexual or not sexual enough. This related to both their responses to sexual advances from men and their general "reputation"	It seems to be like a big giant unspoken thing that you know you're weird if you don't sleep with someone at least in like the first 3 or 4 dates. (Brittany) The guys almost like ohh don't worry about those people they're bitchy you know they're all bitches they're standoff chicks they don't want to talk to you or something but it's like well when we try to be nice just for the sake of being nice you guys think yeah we want to take you home when that's actually not the case we just actually want to be nice. (Moana) language a cock tease. (Nicole)
  Rule 4: Women must be happy with singleness but not be single "Acceptable" singleness as dependent on age and gender	Whereas it appeared "acceptable" or "normal" for young women to be single, as women entered typical childbearing ages (e.g., 30s), this became less acceptable. Men were not perceived as being subject to the same scrutiny	If you're 35 and you're single and don't have any children like they would think are you crazy. (Hayley) Yeah everyone just jokes about oh you're getting older you must be buying cats soon and no one ever jokes about that about guys there are plenty of single guys out there there's no crazy dog dickhead. (Stacey)
  relationship	So troubled act and risked negative perceptions of being desperate/needy, regardless of whether women actually did want one.	People don't want to hear you say oh I'm just so miserable that I'm single because then it implies that you aren't ok in yourself and that you're desperate and needy. (Grace) I guess you kind of need to be strong you don't want to come across like weak so yeah like undesirable or whatever. (Hayley)

5. Experimental Setup

This section describes the practical implementation of the study, particularly how data was collected from participants. Since this is a qualitative study based on interviews, there isn't an "experimental setup" in the traditional sense of controlled variables and quantitative measurements. Instead, it details the design, participants, and procedure of the data collection.

5.1. Datasets

The "dataset" for this study consists of the verbatim transcripts of 21 individual semi-structured interviews with young heterosexual women in Auckland, New Zealand.

• Source: The data was generated directly by the researchers through interviews with women who volunteered to participate after a media release and other recruitment efforts.
• Scale: 21 interview transcripts. While this might seem small for quantitative studies, it is a substantial dataset for in-depth qualitative thematic analysis, allowing for rich, detailed exploration of experiences and perspectives.
• Characteristics: The data is qualitative, consisting of personal accounts, narratives, opinions, and reflections from the participants. It captures how these women understand, make sense of, and report acting in relation to being single, with a specific focus on heterosexuality. The data also includes responses to prompts about media representations of single women.
• Domain: The domain is sociocultural experiences of young heterosexual single women in Aotearoa/New Zealand, specifically concerning norms of femininity and heterosexuality.
• Data Sample Example: The paper includes numerous example quotes from participants throughout the results section, illustrating the nature of the data. For instance, Stacey's quote for Rule 1: "If I was going on a date I would definitely make a massive effort with my appearance um I feel like guys expect a certain level to be made on a first date like but a guy could turn up in shorts and jandals [flip-flops] and yet girls are expected to be like wearing makeup and hair done nicely, clothes appropriate for the situation um (...) yeah and I think females are sort of encouraged to dress more feminine particularly at the beginning like if you're trying to attract a guy (Stacey)". This shows the raw, conversational nature of the data collected.
• Choice of Dataset: These interviews were chosen because they directly allow for the exploration of the research questions. By asking women to describe their experiences, perceptions, and responses to societal expectations, the researchers could gather firsthand accounts that reveal the complexities and contradictions of singledom and femininity in their specific context. The demographic criteria (age, location, single, heterosexual) were tailored to investigate the pressures around childbearing ages and local sociocultural norms.

5.2. Evaluation Metrics

As a qualitative study employing thematic analysis, this research does not use quantitative evaluation metrics (like accuracy, precision, recall, or F1-score) to assess model performance or hypothesis testing in a statistical sense. Instead, the "evaluation" of the research's rigor and validity relies on established qualitative criteria.

Key criteria for evaluating thematic analysis and qualitative research typically include:

• Trustworthiness: This encompasses several aspects:
  • Credibility: The extent to which the findings are plausible and believable to those who experienced the social reality (i.e., the participants). This is enhanced by providing rich, thick descriptions and direct quotes from participants, which the paper does extensively.
  • Transferability: The degree to which the findings can be applied to other contexts or settings. While the study is specific to New Zealand, the authors discuss the potential relevance beyond this context for similar Westernized societies facing cultural lag.
  • Dependability: The consistency of the findings over time and across different researchers. This is addressed by the coding review process between the first and second author, ensuring consistency in interpretation.
  • Confirmability: The degree to which the findings are shaped by participants' experiences rather than the researcher's bias. The critical realist framework helps in this by acknowledging the locatedness of the researcher while striving to represent the participants' realities.
• Rigor: Demonstrated through:

  • Systematicity: The clear, step-by-step description of the thematic analysis process (data familiarization, coding, theme development, review), following Braun and Clarke (2006) guidelines.

  • Transparency: The detailed explanation of participant recruitment, interview procedures, and analytical choices.

  • Reflexivity: The first author introducing her own positionality (heterosexual, cis woman, late 20s, single until recently) contributes to reflexivity, acknowledging how the researcher's background might influence the research process, though the explicit reflection on its impact isn't detailed in the provided snippet.

    In summary, the "evaluation" is implicit in the robust application of qualitative research methods and the coherent presentation of findings supported by participant narratives, rather than through mathematical formulas.

5.3. Baselines

In qualitative research like this thematic analysis, there are typically no baseline models in the sense of alternative algorithms or systems to compare against quantitatively. The "baseline" against which the findings are implicitly compared is the prevailing societal discourse and existing academic literature on femininity, heterosexuality, and singleness.

The paper effectively uses the introduction and discussion sections to establish this implicit "baseline":

• Traditional Sociocultural Stereotypes: The paper starts by noting that older single women have historically evoked numerous negative sociocultural stereotypes. This is the historical and ongoing baseline of perception that the study investigates whether shifts toward gendered equality have changed.

• Existing Theoretical Frameworks: The study leverages existing theories, such as heteronormativity, new femininity, Foucault's discourse theory, and sexual double standards (discussed in Prerequisite Knowledge), to provide a baseline understanding of the theoretical landscape. The findings then show how young single women's experiences either align with, challenge, or complicate these theoretical constructs.

• Media Representations: The discussion around The Bachelor NZ and other media portrayals of single women (e.g., cat ladies, desperate singles) serves as a cultural baseline of how singleness is presented and understood in the public sphere. The participants' own experiences are then analyzed in relation to these prevalent media narratives.

• Common Assumptions about Gender Equality: The paper implicitly compares its findings against the assumption that shifts toward gendered equality would have significantly eroded traditional gender roles. The results then demonstrate that, for young single women, traditional ideas remain remarkably strong, indicating a cultural lag from this presumed baseline of equality.

  Therefore, rather than comparing against specific computational models, the study's findings are contextualized and gain significance through their ability to illuminate, confirm, or critically challenge the sociocultural and theoretical baselines concerning gender, sexuality, and singledom.

6. Results & Analysis

6.1. Core Results Analysis

The study identified four patterned sets of pressures, conceptualized as rules, that govern hetero-relating for young single heterosexual women in Aotearoa (New Zealand). These rules reveal a highly constrained context where women navigate traditional gender roles despite modern ideals of independence. Singledom itself is largely constructed as a defective state, subject to societal interrogation and questioning.

Rule 1: Women must be Beautiful but Not "Girly"

This rule highlights a paradox: women are expected to invest heavily in beauty practices to be heterosexually desirable (e.g., Stacey's comment about effort for a date; Grace's "slob" dichotomy). This aesthetic labor is framed as mandatory and essential for male attention, reinforcing the idea that female appearance is for men. However, engaging too much in overtly feminine or girly interests (like fashion/beauty for its own sake) is devalued and can undermine a woman's competencies. Many participants distanced themselves from "girly" traits, preferring active/outdoor interests (traditionally masculine). This creates a precarious balance: women must be beautiful (via effort) but appear naturally beautiful, without seeming "too" girly or superficial. Non-conformity (e.g., body size) leads to explicit criticism and objectification from men, demonstrating patriarchal power. The core advantage of this finding is illuminating the contradictory expectations women face, where heterosexuality is an unstable place requiring a "right" appearance that often contradicts "right" behavior.

Rule 2: Men must be in Control and Superior

This rule reveals that traditional ideas of male dominance and control persist in heterosexual relationships and even the workplace. Women are expected to be agreeable and acquiescent. In dating, male initiation and control over the relationship's progression are seen as desirable (Stacey's strategy of "playing it cool"). Female passivity is a "winning formula" to attract a partner. Women who are assertive or inquire about relationship status are often penalized by being labeled "clingy" or "needy", risking the relationship. This extends to the workplace, where assertive women are seen as "aggressive" or "bossy", expected to take subordinate roles or face bullying (Nicole's experience). The paradox here is that intelligence and self-sufficiency are desired but only up to a point; women must not be "too smart" or "too independent" lest they emasculate men (Rachel's quote) or be seen as a "challenge." The study effectively shows how this rule ensures patriarchal privilege by constraining women's agency in both personal and professional spheres.

Rule 3: Women must be Sexy but Not Sexual

This rule describes the sexual double standard where women must navigate a perfect balance of sexuality. Sexual interactions are necessary for obtaining and maintaining heterosexual commitment, but visible sexuality is dangerous to feminine desirability. Women are caught between being a "slut" (too sexual) or a "prude" (not sexual enough). Participants reported men's disrespect for women who have casual sex (Brittany's quote), yet also pressure to have sex by a certain point in dating (Stacey's "third date rule") to avoid being seen as "frigid" and losing a man's interest. This double bind creates a powerless position for women, where saying "no" to uninvited advances can lead to being labeled "frigid" or "bitch" (Rachel), while expressing sexual interest can lead to being seen as "promiscuous". The solution often involves making female sexuality invisible or discreet to be acceptable (Grace's "couple of lovers" comment), which may lead to under-reporting sexual experiences. This analysis reveals a very punishing bind with harsh consequences at either end of the spectrum, making the correct balance tricky to distinguish.

Rule 4: Women must be Happy with Singleness but Not be Single

This rule highlights the overarching pressure to couple and the fraught identity of singleness for women, particularly as they age. While young singleness is an accepted "phase", singleness after 30 becomes less acceptable and "not as sexy" (Amanda), linked to the ticking clock of childbearing. Singledom for older women is seen as defective, implying "something's wrong with them" (Grace), leading to stereotypes like "cat ladies" or being "desperate". The paradox is that women are expected to desire a relationship but must simultaneously appear "happy on their own" and "confident" about singleness to avoid being seen as "desperate" (Camille). This is a double bind where expressing unhappiness about being single is socially unacceptable and risks negative perceptions. Men, conversely, are encouraged to "play the field" without the same scrutiny or negative judgment for singleness. This rule underscores how heterosexual commitment is positioned as central to women's existence, while for men, it can be a "trap". The study shows how women are forced to enact a "positive" or "happy" singleness despite loneliness and anxiety (Brittany's critique).

Overall, the results strongly validate the effectiveness of the proposed method (thematic analysis within a critical realist framework) in uncovering these complex and contradictory social rules. The findings demonstrate how these rules combine to create a highly constrained context for women, impacting their gendered personhood and available options. The pervasive nature of these rules and the punishments for non-conformity highlight the deep entrenchment of traditional gender roles even in a supposedly modern and equal society. The critique and resistance articulated by participants also point to the potential for future social change, though currently, complicity remains a strong aspect of navigation.

6.2. Data Presentation (Tables)

The paper presents its key findings in a structured table format that summarizes the identified rules and their subthemes. This table, Table 2, is a direct output of the thematic analysis.

The following are the results from Table 2 of the original paper:

This table provides a concise overview of the core findings, linking each identified rule with its description and illustrative quotes from participants, which serve as direct evidence from the qualitative data.

6.3. Ablation Studies / Parameter Analysis

This study, being qualitative research based on thematic analysis of interviews, does not involve ablation studies or parameter analysis in the way quantitative or machine learning research would. Ablation studies involve removing components of a model to test their individual contribution, and parameter analysis involves tuning numerical values to optimize performance. These concepts are not applicable to the methodology used here.

However, in a qualitative sense, the process of thematic analysis itself involves a form of iterative refinement that could be seen as analogous to ablation or parameter tuning in how themes are developed and refined.

• Theme Development and Review: The process of theme development and review (as described in the Methodology) can be thought of as iteratively testing and refining how well conceptual themes capture and represent the underlying data. Researchers might initially propose certain themes (e.g., "singleness and femininity") and then test them against the raw data to see if they accurately reflect the semantic and latent meanings. If a theme doesn't fit well or is too broad/narrow, it is refined or re-scoped (a form of parameter adjustment for categorical themes).

• Subtheme Creation: The division of main rules into subthemes (e.g., Rule 1 into "Beauty standards as hyper-feminine" and "Devaluing of 'girly' interests") demonstrates a refinement of the analytical model, breaking down broader concepts into more nuanced components, akin to understanding the contribution of sub-modules.

  The rigor of qualitative analysis is demonstrated by the consultation between the first and second author during coding and theme development, ensuring inter-coder reliability and consensus on the interpretation of themes. This collaborative process ensures that the identified rules are robustly supported by the data and not merely individual interpretations.

Ultimately, while the terminology of ablation studies and parameter analysis is not directly transferable, the iterative and rigorous nature of thematic analysis ensures that the identified rules are a well-justified and validated representation of the participants' experiences.

7. Conclusion & Reflections

7.1. Conclusion Summary

This paper conclusively demonstrates that being a young single, heterosexual woman in contemporary New Zealand is a complex and fraught position. The study identified four pervasive rules that implicitly and explicitly govern hetero-femininity: (1) adhering to beauty standards while paradoxically devaluing "girly" traits, (2) accepting male control and superiority in relationships and the workplace, (3) navigating a precarious balance of sexuality to be sexy but not sexual, and (4) facing immense pressure for heterosexual coupling by a "certain age" while simultaneously being expected to appear "happy on their own" when single.

The research highlights that these social shifts (e e.g., women pursuing careers) are incorporated into a framework of traditionally gendered expectations. Even when women resisted and challenged these limiting norms, they remained subject to them, influencing their gendered personhood and future options. Despite the prevalent complicity born from social consequences for non-conformity, the presence of critique and resistance among participants signals vital precursors to full resistance and social change towards less limited and gendered imaginings of personhood.

7.2. Limitations & Future Work

The authors acknowledge several limitations and suggest future research directions:

• Age Range Limitation: The study focused on women aged 25-35. This specific age range, chosen to capture pressures around childbearing ages, means the findings might not fully represent the experiences of women in older (post-childbearing) age ranges who also face considerable pressures and societal expectations around coupling.
  • Future Work: Explore how these rules and expectations develop, persist, and are resisted differently across different ages or are experienced by women born in different times.
• Geographical Scope Limitation: Participants were restricted to New Zealand's biggest urban centre (Auckland).
  • Future Work: Include participants from other areas (e.g., rural) to gain insights into intersections among location, meaning, and practice. The authors suggest using virtual interview techniques for geographically diverse samples.
• Sexual Identity Focus (Heteronormativity): The study specifically focused on heterosexual interactions and coupling, intentionally limiting discussion of sexual minority people's experiences. This implicitly reinforced the heterosexual/non-heterosexual binary and missed potential fluidity of sexual experiences and identities.
  • Future Work: Research how these rules and discourse and tension around heterofemininity play out within women's accounts of sexuality beyond a narrow heterosexuality.
• Recruitment Bias: The recruitment method (publicly asking for women who wished to discuss singleness to volunteer) likely attracted women who had thought considerably/critically about the issues. This means the sample might not include women who are less engaged or less critical of such issues.
• Socioeconomic Class Bias: The recruitment method (requiring internet access, travel to university, spare time) might have resulted in a sample primarily from a certain socioeconomic class.
  • Future Work: Acknowledge and address possible barriers to participation to ensure a more diverse socioeconomic sample. The authors note that race and class were not explicitly raised by participants, but acknowledge research indicating that lower economic social classes may internalize more traditional gender roles.

7.3. Personal Insights & Critique

This paper offers a compelling and nuanced look into the persistent societal pressures faced by young single women. My personal insights include:

• Reinforcement of "Invisible" Constraints: The paper vividly illustrates how deeply ingrained heteronormative expectations are, functioning as almost "invisible" rules that dictate women's behavior and self-perception. Even in an era of supposed gender equality, these subtle yet powerful forces exert significant control. This is a critical reminder that societal change is often slower and more complex than legal or political reforms might suggest.

• The "Tightrope" Metaphor: The concept of a "precarious 'tightrope of femininity'" perfectly captures the contradictory demands placed on women. The constant need to balance opposing expectations (beautiful but not "girly", sexy but not sexual) creates an inherently stressful and potentially damaging environment for identity formation. This resonates with many contemporary discussions about how women are policed for their appearance and behavior, regardless of their choices.

• Applicability Beyond New Zealand: While the study is set in New Zealand, the rules identified feel universally applicable to many Western societies. The cultural lag and the double binds described are phenomena that transcend geographical boundaries, suggesting the insights could be highly transferable to contexts like North America, Europe, and Australia.

• Value of Qualitative Research and Critical Realism: The study's use of thematic analysis within a critical realist framework is particularly effective. It moves beyond simply reporting individual feelings to uncover structural rules and power dynamics that shape those feelings, providing a powerful tool for consciousness-raising and social change. This approach clearly demonstrates the value of qualitative methods in uncovering the complex lived realities that quantitative data might miss.

  Potential issues, unverified assumptions, or areas for improvement:

• Subtlety of Complicity vs. Resistance: While the paper notes both complicity and resistance, the nuances of why women choose complicity even when they critique the system could be explored further. Is it purely due to fear of punishment, or are there internalizations, desires for belonging, or perceived benefits that also play a role?

• Intersectionality beyond Ethnicity: While the sample included diverse ethnicities, the paper itself acknowledges that class was not explicitly discussed by participants. A deeper intersectionality analysis considering how class, race, and other social markers might modify or intensify these rules could add another layer of richness. For instance, are these rules experienced differently by women from varying socioeconomic backgrounds or cultural groups within New Zealand?

• Impact of Digital Media Beyond "The Bachelor": The use of The Bachelor as a media stimulus was effective, but contemporary digital media (e.g., Instagram, TikTok, dating apps) play an enormous role in shaping beauty standards and hetero-relating today. Future research could explicitly explore the role of these platforms in reinforcing or challenging the identified rules.

• Men's Perspectives: While the study focuses on women's experiences, understanding how men perceive and enforce these rules would offer a crucial complementary perspective. Do men consciously uphold these rules, or are they also implicitly influenced by heteronormative discourse?

  Overall, this paper provides a robust and thought-provoking analysis, making a significant contribution to the understanding of gender, sexuality, and singleness in contemporary society. Its implications for consciousness-raising and informing therapeutic practice are substantial.